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January 8, 2011
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I'm such a pitiful sight now, aren't I? Look at me...old, alone and full of regret. So much for the world's greatest pokemon trainer. I'm nothing more than a monster. I wish there was some way to go back to days of my youth and take back those words that sealed my fate.

Hm! You say you don't know me. I can't help but wonder if that's a good thing. You may not know my face, but surely you might have heard my name before? My name is Red. I was once declared the youngest champion in Kanto's history and the only one to hold the title for so long. But that title is a false one. I'm not a champion. I'm nothing more than a senile old man. I said something I shouldn't have. My mother always warned me that I should never make a wish out loud because someone might be listening.

Ah, so you do know who I am! That will surely save time. I'm guessing you've come to find me to ask me how I became the champion and how I managed to hold it. The tale is not a happy one and I am not eager to share it.

What's that? Speak up! Oh, you say you have time? That doesn't change anything! The horrors I have seen are not to be told to anyone. Besides, I wouldn't want to give a kid like you nightmares for the rest of your life.

You aren't scared easily?

Tell me something, do you believe in ghosts?

No?

Perhaps you're brave to make such a statement...or very ignorant. But my time here is short. Since you seem to have a lot of gall and courage, and because you're a stupid little kid who doesn't know what you're in for, I'll tell you the story of how I, Red of Pallet Town, became the pokemon league champion at the age of ten.

When I was a wee youngster, I had a dream. I wanted to become the very best trainer in the world. I believed I could do it while I was still ten years old. But adults always sneered at me, telling me it was impossible. No kid had ever become the champion, much less a pokemon master, at such a young age. I still held onto that belief anyway, but I was annoyed at how many people shot down my dream.

So annoyed that...I declared, "I would sell my soul to become the best!"

And that's what happened.

The day I received a Charmander from Professor Oak was the day I realized I was being followed by a spirit. It showed itself to me after I stepped out of the lab.

I see that look on your face, you smug little brat. Wipe it off.

It seemed to look like a Gastly evolution. It didn't have a name but I simply called him Ghost. It had red eyes, a purple body and two weird hands floating in front of it. It wasn't any pokemon I had ever seen before in my books or at school, which excited me. I tried to show it to Professor Oak, but he couldn't see it. Ghost was only visible to me.

No matter. I decided to use Ghost in my very first battle outside of Pallet Town, which was on a wild Pidgey. I know I'll never forget that encounter. I sent Ghost out against it and used my Pokedex to help me. As surprising as it sounds, Ghost did have some data. It was a Spirit type and it knew only one move.

That horrible horrible move...Curse.

Ghost used Curse and the Pidgey had just...vanished. Right into thin air. I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that Ghost put a scare into the Pidgey so badly, it didn't even want to fight back. Ghost had made it disappear. I could tell Ghost was strong and I realized I could achieve my dream after all.

I didn't know what really happened. Not until I got older.

Ghost made himself visible in all the battles I was in. When it cursed all the opponent's pokemon, it continued to pulse with dark energy and cackle. It even cursed the trainer. The trainer vanished, just like their pokemon. Whenever I looked back at where that trainer once stood, I always saw a tombstone.

But I was just a stupid little kid. I was winning. I could beat anyone - even the Elite Four - as long as I had Ghost. And pokemon don't kill people. That's what I thought anyway.

My journey through Kanto was short and easy. No one could stand up to Ghost. Not my rival, Blue, not Giovanni and not the Elite Four. I was crowned champion, something that made me so happy.

As I left the Indigo Plateau, Ghost had come out of its pokeball and faced me. It grinned and started to point at all the tombstones where I had seen the trainers I had battled. And for the first time...it spoke.

"We killed them..."

I had realized just what I had done. I really had sold my soul and this...thing...was proof of it. It fed on the souls of the people and pokemon I ordered it to use Curse on.

I couldn't face myself. I couldn't face anyone. I had killed so many innocent people and pokemon...all to become a master. Suddenly my dream wasn't as important as being alive. Kanto had become so barren after my journey. I feel like I'm the only one left...

Oh...no...no no no...GET OUT! GET OUT OF HERE!

Don't look at me like I'm crazy! Just get out!

It's coming...it knows I've told our story...if you value your life, RUN!

...

...

...

I've been expecting you, Ghost.

It's my turn now, isn't it? My turn to be cursed?

I'm not ready! Damn you, I wanted to live a life! I still have some life in me!

I...won't...go!

...

...

Argh...my heart...I can't...physically...touch you...

Wait...NO! NOT CURSE! NO!

...

G h o s t c u r s e s y o u, ...
Psst, if you liked this, why not check out my Creepypasta gallery? You might find some more that you like!

A lot of people enjoyed my Lost Silver spinoff and suggested I try to do one for Creepy Black as well. I got bored tonight and went digging through my files and I found I still had the Creepy Black Retold rom. Since I was in the mood to write and didn't want to do romance, I decided to do this!

I'll be honest here, I don't ever write in the first person POV. This was also an experiment of sorts. I also made it second person-ish so it seems like Red is talking to YOU. I think I pulled it off, but that's just me...

I know it's short. But unlike Gold's Time of Dying, I couldn't go into complete and utter detail about Red's journey. It would have been repetitive and taken too long. So I just covered what the creepypasta told us.

It was fun! I hope you guys enjoyed it!

And if anyone wants me to write a spinoff of another creepypasta, I'm all ears. All you have to do is suggest it.

Edit: Fixed up some mistakes and details.

Disabled comments because I am no longer involved in the Creepypasta fandom and have no desire to read comments. Thanks for your support, everyone.
:iconpyroluminescence:
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Stop being awesome Star, God.

There. 100 words.

...On a serious note, now. :'D

This was a refreshing read. It's very nice to read things BASED ON pasta rather than more and more THEN WHO WAS GAME stories. It adds a lot of depth to the story that you just really can't get from a first-person narrative of one of these games. As if you can't tell, getting inside Red's head is my favorite thing to do, anywhere, ever, so this was especially nice to see. You did a much better job characterizing him and making him human than most people could have, and I appreciate how you went into his head a little and made him in-character (grouchy old man FTW!), not sacrificing that for the sake of making it "creepy".

You have a few grammatical errors and inconstancies with comma usage and capitalization. I'd just read it over real quick to get those out of the way. Those should be pretty easy to catch :'D

I did feel like it was a little flat at points. With storytelling, it's very hard to tell it effectively in written word, especially in second person. This is an extremely challenging style to pull off. I think you got the style you wanted, but the execution of the actual story fell behind a little. I can't help but feel a little detached. There's nothing pulling me in and really gripping me about Red's feelings, his urgency, or his final moments. To be perfectly honest, it seems like you relied more on horror-writing tropes and cliches rather than try to write with feeling, which is a little jarring, considering how well-off this story started as far as showing Red's character and not relying on suspense/horror to drive the emotion.

We can gather that Red died, but it seems very sudden and flat, and makes his death a little anticlimactic. I'd say try to delve more into his feelings, the pain and loss he feels in his final moments, have him scream, have him remember... etc. Death is rarely horrifying or profound enough on its own. You could do a "book ends" style ending where you bring it back to Red's original point about how he should be careful what he wished for.

The line about how Ghost can't be fought "physically" is a little random, too. Are you trying to imply that Red is trying to fight Ghost with his heart? Could you maybe add more to make the meaning more clear?

And for the last line, I think it would be more effective without the formatting. Furthermore, perhaps you could make the ending even more profound by making the last line something implied to be from Ghost's point of view (since, up until he died, the story was narrated by Red). You could even bring the narration back around to the reader, or the one Red is addressing.

These are all just ideas, of course. ^^; The story is fine as it is, but, like I said, seems a little flat and cookie-cutter. Nonetheless, like I said, very well-written and very refreshing. Most pasta and pasta art makes Red as 2D as his sprite (snerk!), and despite what I've said, you definitely did do well in that regard, but not as well as I think you can (and I've seen plenty of your writing, so I would know! *pasta-bro poke*).

Wow. So I herd u like lengthy in-depth critique?
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